A hot, filling snack made by a mother with more love than money to give to her growing boy.
In the old days, bus travel all over the country was available and economical. Many bus stations had a lunch counter where passengers waiting for a connecting bus could eat old-time "fast food". Along with grilled hot dogs and hamburgers was this tasty sandwich that was hot, filling and cheap.
As you see from the above, explaining a recipe takes a lot longer than demonstrating it. This one-person skit I found on the Internet really shows the difference!
How to Make a Sandwich
Ready for Lunch? Good! Let's begin! We're going to start by assuming that you already have each of the items you'll need to make this sandwich. So the first thing you're gonna need is a place to make your sandwich. My suggestion would be a plate. So reach into your cupboard and grab a plate. Any will do. No, that's a bowl. Plates are flat. Right, yes, that's flat, but it's a cutting board. Plates are going to be round. Yes, the bowl is round, but it's not flat, is it? Forget it. Grab the cutting board. Perfect. Put it down. On the counter, not the floor. Much better.
All right, you're ready to start. You need bread. I like wheat or sourdough, but you might prefer white, rye, pumpernickel, a French roll... you're just staring at me. What do you mean you don't have any bread like that? Like what? What kind of bread do you have? Wonder Bread. Fine, it's pre-sliced. Take out two slices of Wonder Bread. Two. More than one, less than three. That's three. Put one back. Perfect. Put two slices of Wonder Bread on your cutting board. See how easy this is?
OK, you need some sandwich ingredients, open your refrigerator. Your refrigerator. Big thing in your kitchen. Cold. Stores food. That's the one. Take out cheese, bologna, mayo... you're giving me that look again. Let's stop there. Cheese, bologna and mayo. Mayonnaise. It's a sandwich spread. White. No, that's Miracle Whip. Yes, it's a white sandwich spread but... fine. Miracle Whip will do. Put it on the counter next to the bread. OK. Now we... where's the cheese and baloney? Didn't I just say... Go back to the refrigerator and... no, leave the Miracle Whip where it is, just go back to the fridge and open it. Good. Grab the cheese. Any kind will do. Just pick one! How about cheddar, do you have cheddar? Yes! Bring it to the counter next to the cutting board. Now go back to the fridge. I'm sorry, are you getting dizzy? It can happen, get used to it.
Open the fridge again. You're looking for baloney. Please let it be pre-sliced. Baloney. It's meat. You're looking for a package filled with slices of cooked meat. That's bacon. It's raw. Yes! That's the baloney! Very good! Now bring that over to the counter. No, we're done with the fridge.
OK, now you're ready to start making a baloney and cheese sandwich. Open the Miracle Whip. Open it. Twist the lid off of the jar. What do you mean it won't come off? Twist it in the other direction. There ya go! Now you need a knife. You don't need a sharp knife, you just need a spreading knife. Dull. Very dull. The duller the better. No! Not that! Put that down before you hurt someone! Find a knife without a wooden handle. No, that has a wooden handle doesn't it? That probably means it's sharp. Don't test it to see! Just put it down! Find a dull, regular, boring knife! OK. Perfect. That's a nice simple spreading knife. Dip it into the Miracle Whip. Now lift it out of the Miracle Whip and spread it on the slices of bread. Carefully. Not too hard, you'll tear the bread. Harder than that. The knife has to at least touch the bread. There ya go. Now do the other slice of bread. Perfect! You're a regular Julia Child now! She's a famous cook... never mind.
Now you are going to put a slice of baloney on one piece of bread. Open the package. No, this package doesn't screw open. Just pull the back end away from the rest of the package. See how it's opening up? Excellent. Take out a slice of baloney. Put it on one of the slices of bread. No, you don't need the knife for this.
Good! You're almost there! Now it's time for the cheese. The cheese is unopened? OK, don't panic. Take the dull knife... the other end, grab the other end of the knife! Slice the package of cheese open. Just jam it in there and.. don't worry about hurting the cheese! Just slice the darn thing open! Very good. Now take the block of cheese out and lay it on the cutting board. OK. Again with the knife, cut a few slices of cheese. Thinner than that, you want more than two slices out of your block. Thinner. Thinner. Thinner! Just... measure with your pinky! Your pinky should be at least two slices thick. What are you... DON'T SLICE YOUR PINKY!!!
You know what? Forget it! Put the cheese down. You're just having a baloney sandwich today. Now pick up one slice of bread and put it down on the other. Miracle Whip-side down. Well turn it over, you can't eat it with the Miracle Whip side facing out! Because I said so!!! OK. Pick up the sandwich. Congratulations! You made a baloney sandwich!
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